Don’t Discuss, Just Repress™️
(A modern survival guide to polite suffocation)
Somewhere along the line — possibly during a mandatory HR training or right after someone got offended by a historical fact — society decided that talking was just too risky. For the last few decades, we’ve slowly morphed from “speak your truth” to “speak nothing or be publicly roasted.”
Politics? Off limits.
Religion? Don’t even look spiritual in public.
Sex? Forget it, we’ve sanitized everything to Ken doll levels.
History? Only if it’s been scrubbed by a committee of lawyers and rewritten by a team of PR professionals.
Food? Careful. Your sandwich might be problematic.
And this isn’t just a polite “let’s avoid conflict” thing. No, no — this is DEFCON-1 of emotional safety zones. All led by the unholy trinity of HR departments, lawyers, and Janet from accounting who still brings up that one passive-aggressive email you sent in 2017.
It’s gotten so bad, people are more emotionally bottled up than a soda can shaken on a paint mixer. Remember during the COVID lockdowns when we all got weird and forgot how to interact with other humans? Yeah — we’re still doing that. Just with better Wi-Fi and fancier loungewear.
And look, I’m not saying we should be hateful jerks. This isn’t a free pass to be an obnoxious edgelord. I’m saying that even healthy debate and open conversation are now treated like you’ve personally insulted someone’s grandma and their astrological sign.
God forbid you try to gently challenge someone’s long-held beliefs — they’ll act like you burned their house down with a historical document and a slightly spicy opinion. Which brings us to the new world order: no discussion, all suppression. Because if people talk… they might learn something. And we can’t have that.
So instead of conversation, we now have tribal social media mobs, misinformation whirlpools, and people acting like high school mean girls — but with worse intentions and better smartphones. They don’t want dialogue. They want blood. Preferably yours, served on the altar of Twitter/X/TikTok/Whatever’s Next.
So naturally, I have questions. (Of course I do — I’m full of them.)
Who exactly decided we should live like this?
Is it some Illuminati cabal of extremely sensitive ex-baristas?
Or are we just like yellowjackets in the fall — angry, irrational, and ready to sting everyone because deep down we know… the end is near?
Either way, welcome to modern discourse: where you’re free to speak your mind, as long as your mind has been pre-approved by corporate and is formatted in Helvetica 12pt, double-spaced, and inoffensive to absolutely everyone — including your aunt’s cat.
