Ah, the great powers of the world—China, Russia, and the United States—each with the same sparkling vision for humanity: conquer, exploit, and cash in. National security? Oh, please. That’s just a fancy way of saying “We’d like to take your stuff now.”
Want proof? Just listen to their leaders (direct from the horse’s—uh, let’s say rear exit—and not through the media). Donald Trump wanted Greenland, Putin wanted Ukraine, and, well, China wants everything. And the reason? You guessed it: MONEY. Not for the people, not for security, but for their own personal gold-plated bathtubs.
Speaking of money grabs, let’s talk about the brand-new U.S. coin—brought to you, maintained by, and probably featuring the Trump family logo. Because why settle for being a billionaire when you can literally print your own currency?
And let’s not forget our favorite billionaire wildcard, Elon Musk. Sure, he’s cutting government costs, but let’s play a game: Would he sell every single stock he owns, resign from all his companies, and work in public service for five years just because it’s “the right thing to do”? Yeah, didn’t think so. Same goes for Trump, his family, Congress, and any government official who’s ever daydreamed about insider trading while pretending to listen in a budget meeting.
Now, here’s my genius, totally foolproof solution:
No government official (or their entire extended family) can own stocks while in office. Sell it all or go home.
No sneaky post-office stock buyouts. Sorry, Congress, you don’t get to pass a bill that tanks a stock and then buy it cheap when you “retire.”
No government contracts for politicians, their families, or their secret shell companies. (Yes, I see you, shady LLCs.)
All contracts should be limited to two years. That way, companies actually have to compete instead of coasting for decades on overpriced, underperforming deals.
Now, would Congress, Trump, Musk, or any politician agree to this? Absolutely not. Because greed is the one bipartisan issue everyone in power can agree on.
Prove me wrong, and I’ll buy you a Snickers. Or, if you prefer, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s—assuming it hasn’t been rebranded as “Billionaire Fudge Swindle” by then.
